Who is a good wife?

As a man grows up, hopes one day to get a family of his own. Every good man (who has not been negatively influenced by modernity and ill society,) wishes to one day get a woman to love as a wife, who will be the mother of his children. A good man would be happy getting a beautiful woman, a woman with the gifts of understanding, trust, respect, care and love.  A woman who will be patient enough to make him a father.

As I was growing up, like any other young child I thought my father hated me because whenever I made a small mistake, he used to thoroughly beat me up. My mother was a bit soft and so headed up loving her more than my father. I even vowed when I grow up and get my own money, I will not be helping my father. That son to father hate continued until one day he sat me down after I had made a mistake;

Father: My son.

Me: I’m sorry dad, I didn’t mean to do that. (I pleaded with him nervously. Thinking he wanted to ‘discipline’ me.)

Father: Relax son I know you did not mean to do it. My son, I know to you I am a bad father. A father who hates you. But that’s not true. From today hence forth I won’t be beating you. I want you to use your mind because you are not a child anymore. And just know I was not harsh on you because I hate you (or because you are a bad child) no, that’s not true. You are all what I have and I don’t have a single reason to hate you. I have always been trying to be a good father. It pains so much to see your children take a wrong route at a time while you cannot control. It is a shame. As a father you always live with that guilty to the grave. Parenting is a duty parents are directly delegated to you by God. Even the Bible says, ‘Spare the rod, and spoil the child.’ I did not want to spoil you and lose you. On the other hand, it feels so nice for a father or any parent to watch his children grow from while just a pregnancy to zero years old all the way to become responsible adults-and that’s what I wanted from you.

Me: (I was very much overwhelmed. I could not even say a word. I just grabbed my father and gave him a long passionate hug.)

Father: I love you son.

Me: I love you too Dad.

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Therefore, every man would want to have that experience with his children. And that can only happen when he has a wife, a good wife, somebody to unveil the man in him, somebody to complete him as a person. And now a question arises: where are these good women/wives found? I also don’t know and I am not going to tell you where you can get a good wife. After all, who is a good wife? And is who is a good wife to me, a good wife to you? That can’t be true. Then, is a good wife that understanding woman, respectful, trustworthy and loving? Is she the person who gets into a marriage ready and purposefully destined to have her own family? Is she a woman who will not force you to shout in order to solve a problem? Is she that person who will not remind you how rich her family is? Is she a person who will not change immediately after the wedding? Is she that person who will stand by you no matter what-in happiness and sickness, while rich or poor? Then if that’s the case, I am going to tell you three places where you cannot get her:


There has been a notion that good wives are found in church-those who are saved. Wait, what’s the salvation? How or what the saved people do? And what salvation has to do with good wives? Any way if there used to be that time (a time when a man needed a wife was advised to go and look for her from the church,) has long changed. It changed when both the seekers and the sought knew of the secret.

Church! What do I mean by the church here?  What is the church? Is the church a building? Is it the place where believers gather to worship? Or is the church the people—the believers who follow Christ? How we understand and perceive the church is an important factor in determining how we live out our faith. By the church I mean the group of people who have a common set of Christian religious beliefs and have a common way of worship and a common place where that worship is contacted. Catholic Church is a good example.

We men sometimes make a mistake. You stay all your entire life without knowing how a door of a church building looks like and when the time to look for a wife, following the cliché, ‘good wives are found in the church,’ you pretend by going to church o looking for her. What you forget is that some of those church girls also starts going to church for the same purpose. Therefore when these two meet, it looks like a coincidence whereby you meet what you are looking for. Did you bribe God to be answered that quickly? You forget the saying, ‘when the deal is so good…’ and comfort each other by saying “you are my answered prayer.” Whereby you go ahead and marry only immediately thereafter to realize you did not marry your ‘rib.’

Note: leave church girls to the church men, the people who knows them.


The girls whose friend is getting married, are very dangerous to consider as a potential wife. This is because their minds are not clear. They can marry due to the influence that are not the one to be left unmarried. And therefore you may end up marrying an unprepared person, somebody who want to be like her friend(s) without considering what it takes to be married. You might find a genuine man who really wants to settle ending up marrying an undecided woman whom he met at her friends weeding. Any girl you meet in her friend’s wedding, do not hurry to marry her. Court for not less than one year and through that you will get to know each other better.


If you are not looking for someone whom you will not start later controlling, night club is the place. If you are ready to give her, her own freedom, then I don’t think you should look somewhere else. There you will find the free souls, people who want to enjoy their freedom.

But if you are a cagey man, just like hell try to avoid night clubs. If you are a responsible man, a man who knows the importance of primary socialization, a man who will wants to rise a responsible children, a man who has a dignity and would want to respect he wife’s, then,  getting a wife from there is like getting into another hell. Many are the time you will not agree on very simple things. Many are the time you will be agreeing to disagree. She will want to go out every night while you will be wanting to spend an evening with your family. You will be reminded of how you dearly need a house help even when she is just there in house with nothing to do. Many are the time you will be told there is no money to buy food even when you gave out the money yesterday.

Birds of the same feathers flocks together. Once again if you are anyway different from the above, leave the night club girls to their male counterparts.

DISCLAIMER: There is an exception in every rule.


What’s your take? Leave me a comment below.


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